It took a few glasses of wine, Zach Berkman, Fay-Wolf and Death Cab for Cutie...so in a nut shell it took some damn good music and alcohol to get me here. Where is here you might ask? Well here is the point where you look back and reflect on life, not in "the secret" type of way though. It is is more like looking into a house from the outside except this house is not just any house. You, your life is that house that you are looking into. The memorise and life experiences make up the furniture of your house, for example the good experiences would be the new furniture that is strong and still in good condition where as the bad ones would be the broken furniture.
WTF!!! How random right? Yeah I know, one might ask: Where the hell is she going with this?
Well I am at a point where at the moment I am outside looking into my house, reflecting on the lessons learnt or should I say my furniture and the people in my house. Every day is a learning curve, the thing we say, the people we surround ourselfs with, the this we do shape our future but most importantly the lesson we learn and what we make of them.
Lesson 1: One Too Many
A lot of people could mistaken the saying "One too many" for drinking or over indulging in something that is shunned upon, I guess. Well my meaning of "One too Many" is a bit different, I have actually realised that in life I have been rejected one to many times, cried, turned to food as comfort, doubted, fought, laughed and loved ONE TOO MANY times. Oh and mind you nothing ever happens once unless it is birth or death and when it does that shit is written, it is meant to be then which is great news for some unlike the rest of us.
There is not one person on the earth who can say I HAVE NEVER BEEN SCREWED OVER, if there is then that person is not human. No fucking ways! but alas we learn and grow. Right?
I for one think it is perfectly normal to over indulged sometimes. When it comes to the problems of the heart it can be a bit difficult because it is the heart that feels and it doesn't matter how many times you have been hurt or how many times you have loved in life even if you've loathed or enjoyed every second of it the feel will always be the same as the last... if not worse. The heart just "remembers" feelings and doesn't keep numbers of how many times you have been hurt, laugh, cried or loved but emotions that trigger those tears when you see a mother and a child on the street corner,that sole bread winner who on his way home after a days hard work but never made it to his family, or the child who had to walk back home from Rosebank to Cresta because his family doesn't care (Struus Bob yo). Those memories and images in your head accompanied by your emotions equals drama.
So I have decided that I have learn my lesson and I am going to say NO! from now on, NO to drama and NO to feeling all crappy and blue. So what if things happen one too many times like they say practice only makes perfect, so BRING IT ON!
That broken furniture can always be repaired and if not I can always replace it. Who knows if I am lucky that couch might even be better that the previous one.
I just need to find my keys first.